Birds do it, Bees do it.

I know I am really behind. I know everyone is anxiously awaiting my post of Robyn & Spencer's 12th birthday party - which was a total blast if I do say so myself. But I will do that later.
The other night we were in the car coming home from my mom's and Jacob says he knows where babies come from. This was kind of out of the blue so I said Where?
J: The mom hatches an egg and the baby comes out.
me: ok, sort of. What does the daddy have to do with it.
J: The mom and dad get together and have (loudly)S(whispering)e-x. That's how they hatch the egg.
me: How do you know this?
J: Robyn and Spencer (I didn't tell him, no-uh, no way, as they slink lower and lower in their seats)
me: It's no big deal - this is natural. Why don't we talk about it a little? Where does the baby come out (this was really more for Kent and my curiosity - I mean, come on. you can only imagine, can't you)
J: The baby comes out of the mom's penis or where it would be if she had a penis (more groaning of embarrassment from the peanut gallery in the back).
By this time Kent and I are laughing hysterically. Never fully surprised at what comes out of Jacob's mouth. His mind just tends to go places the other two never talk about.
We finished up the confab after giving correct names to all the body parts and answering a few more questions, and even more embarrassing groans from the 12 year olds.
So much fun!

Tagged???but not Betsy!

So I was tagged by my brother-in-law, Ben. Well you've heard Betsy's answers so here are mine, although most of them may be duplicates since our 15 year anniversary is quickly approaching.

5 -Things I was doing 10 years ago - trying to get through school with twins, a beautiful wife and a small apartment. Working at RC Willey for pennies on the dollar, driving my Gumby Green Geo that we got from Brandy.

5 Things on my to-do-list - Provide the neighborhood shuttle for Cub Scouts! Gotta love Scouts! Seriously I love it!! Clean the house, clean the bathroom, help get ready for birthday party, and start to get ready for Pack meeting, (Scouts gotta love it, it is my life!!) Lastly, finish Mom's house soon!

5 Foods that I love - Just about anything Cajun, thanks Betsy for introducing me to the wonderful world of southern living! Cheesecake, any kind any time! Pretzels and Cheezwiz, gotta love it! Pretzels period and cheese period.

5 Things I would do if I won the lottery or if I was a billionaire - I don't count the 'textbook' answers everybody else gives (pay-off debt, pay-off house, invest, go on a vacation, etc) I would buy a forest in Montana and Alaska, build a sizable cabin in both places and live there during the summer months. In the winter months I would live on the private island I purchased off the coast of the Florida keys, with a private golf course and several cabanas overlooking the ocean. I would also build a large salt water aquarium in each home to have a shark tank everywhere I lived.

5 Bad habits - reading everyone's blog, spending too much time with scouts, sleeping in, clutter, yelling at the kids.

5 Places I have lived - Virginia, London, Salt Lake City, Layton, Provo, (yuk)

Well, there it is for the world to see and so in following the tradition of my loving, beautiful wife...I will save all of you and tag no-one unless you want to share your personal business.

This one is for all my twilight lovin' friends

Take the Quiz and Share Your Results!

I am Iron Man! Driving around in my mini van!

I did forget to tell you the funniest part of the weekend. We finally got to watch Iron Man, the movie. My sis, Cindy, was over, and we popped popcorn and curled up with our blankets and such. After a fairly embarrassing scene for the children (having to close their eyes and mute the sound), it was a pretty good movie. At the end, the kids were going up to put on their pjs and we could hear Jacob singing the song.
"I am Iron Man. Crashing into things with my own van!" Not really the lyrics of the song. But from there began the giggling and making fun and even better lyrics - which are really funny since Kent drives the van! And so, the theme song, "I am Iron Man. Driving around in my mini van!" We decided to get it on a vinyl sticker so he can put it on his back window along with his KISS stickers. He can pimp out the van! And if you happen to see him driving around, you may want to avoid him at all cost. His theme song tells it all,
"I AM IRON MAN! CRASHING INTO THINGS IN MY MINI VAN!"

The Chronicles of Dixon

Wow what a week we have had! I was filling in for our office administrator who was taking some well deserved time off - the advantages of your mother being the boss.

Anyway... Apparently, auctions are all the rage in the kids' classrooms this year.

Spencer got to bring home the betta fish he won in his class auction on Wednesday. I must have missed the memo that said live animals are welcome. I'll admit, I was tempted to grab the neighbor's cat who likes to leave his dna in my backyard, and send him packing to the auction, but I calmed down. His fish is named Brick. Don't ask me, I have no idea. The really bad thing is that his fish can't go in the big aquarium with other fish so Spence is all on his own.
So, on Friday, Jacob calls my phone to tell me that he won an Easy Bake Oven in his class auction. Again, the frustration was hitting. I had to sign a paper giving my permission for Jacob to bring anything to auction, but nothing giving permission for what he can win???

So he calls to tell me he won and that all he needs is a light bulb and the ingredients. I say STOP!!! DON'T TOUCH IT. I promise to help you when I get home. Leave it and DON'T TOUCH IT!
A few minutes later, I get another phone call. He found a 60 watt light bulb and he just wanted to try it out. Again I said, STOP!!! DON'T TOUCH IT. I promise to help you when I get home. Leave it on the table and DON'T TOUCH IT!
A few minutes later, I get another phone call. Are you sensing the pattern here? Mom, he says, I just put the light bulb in, I didn't turn it on, but guess what it fits! (This is where the pot boils over.) I said, I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE IT ON THE TABLE. IT IS DANGEROUS. I GUESS IT GOES IN THE GARBAGE SINCE YOU DELIBERATELY DISOBEYED ME. LEAVE IT ALONE. DON'T TOUCH IT AGAIN. I WILL DEAL WITH YOU WHEN I GET THERE.
A few minutes later, I get another phone call. This time it is Jacob requesting to go to his friends house, we'll call him Freddie (names have been changed to protect the presumably innocent). I replied to him that I was not home yet and couldn't take him to Freddie's house. Freddie lives a few miles away. I told him that we had plans for later that evening, and there wouldn't be time to play today. Maybe he and Freddie could play another day.
A few minutes later, Kent gets the phone call. Couldn't you just leave work long enough to take me to Freddie's house and then just go back to work. (The downside of Dad now working less than 2 miles away). Kent reminds him that we had plans for later that evening, and there wouldn't be time to play today. Maybe he and Freddie could play another day.
A few minutes later, Freddie gets a call. My mom and dad can't bring me to your house. Maybe you can come to get me. And having a really special mom, Freddie does. So, hopefully, Jacob and Freddie had a really great time, since it is the last time for a very long time that will happen. Kent arrives home just in time to see Freddie's mom dropping off Jacob and the real sparks begin. Jacob is grounded from All friends for 1 week. He lost his computer priviledge for 3 days and he has to rebuild our trust in him. He destroyed that and he has to rebuild it. And on Saturday, he had no TV except conference (probably not the greatest punishment, but let's be honest, when you're 9, it's pretty good), and he had to work.

So we went to my mom's to work and Jacob and Kent were repairing the stairs. He did ask Meemaw to play on her laptop, but I got to her first. About an hour later, he asked me how much trust had I regained in him. I quickly said, NOT ENOUGH. GET BACK TO WORK!

And work he did.